Monday, September 27, 2010

Why Am I Even Here?


So upset tonight. My day started quite well but it ended bad. Not really bad, but it left me feel bad.


Sometimes there are things that other people mindlessly say that can really hurt – especially those that come from the mouth of someone we thought would not say such things to us.


I was really hurt. If  I haven’t have enough control of myself, i could have gotten angry. but i chose to be calm. and hurt.


In my mind i have asked, “Why am i here?" “ Why did i even bother to be here if I can be somewhere else where i can truly feel good about myself, be proud of myself and not live my life to please these damn people around me?



i felt like i am in a place of unfamiliar people. indeed, I am.


This is not my world. This is not the type of people i want to live with. This is not the world i want to be in.


I so hated the feeling!




Monday, September 20, 2010

Back to Old Vices?

I just came back from a week-long vacation and i was fuming to find out that DH has gone back to smoking.

For all the procedures and tests i’ve gone through, i was thinking he was just wasting our time with all the fertility tests. I have been N01NiceCigarinto a lot of discomforts and stress thinking if the procedures i would go into are painful or not, and here he is – smoking his way to fertility. 

It’s just so frustrating that I have faced my challenges, fought my fears – while he on the other hand only underwent a simple, no sweat semen analysis and he even have the guts to go back to smoking.

I know it is not easy to break a bad habit, but once you have invested a lot of time, suffered all the withdrawal symptoms and totally overcome it, you have to think twice about even picking up one stick.

I don’t know where all these fertility tests are going. I am just plainly mad and angry. . . and frustrated. This is not anymore my battle, it’s his!T02ThrowTable

Friday, September 10, 2010

what now?


got chills yesterday.


now i got headache and i felt nauseous.


got cramping on my tummy as well.


had diarrhea last night too.


a merry mixed up of everything i guess.


will be off for a long vacation tomorrow and i do not know if all these will subside before i will be screaming on that zipline adventure i plan to do early next week.


on the other hand, i wish all these means having a baby. and i would love to forgo all those adventure trips and mountain climbing if i am.


crossing my fingers.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

6 Ways to Get Pregnant Fast According to Old Folks


Indeed, I have been hearing a lot of suggestions from old folks back home, from the elders in our neighborhood, and from most of the ‘older' people whom I have shared my infertility journey.


If I could list all of them, I would surely find a good list on ways to get pregnant fast. They sure have some golden ideas that you will never learn from doctors, or probably doctors won’t tell you.


Here are some of them.


1. Put a pillow underneath your buttocks after sex. 


The law of gravity works in this theory that elevating your buttocks after sex will help the sperm swim easily towards the egg. You can also raise your leg and rest it on a wall while your buttocks are supported by a pillow. They say, this should last about 30 minutes to an hour.


2. Choose your position.


A good choice of sexual position, they say, is one of the ways to get pregnant fast. Positions that allow the sperm to travel the shortest in reaching the egg is ideal. The missionary position, or the man-on-top, is said to be the best position that qualifies this requirement. The spoon, or doggie style can also be considered.


3. Oysters as sperm boosters.


It may just be a mere coincidence that oysters may look like the female genitalia but this seafood is rich in zinc that helps boost the production of the sperm, thus men with sperm count issues can help themselves by getting a good amount of oyster in their diet.



4. Add more Moringa oleifera in your diet.


This vegetable tree is packed with tons of nutrients and is probably why old folks would pressure you to get Moringa Oleifera soup to add to your meal. This can also be taken in powdered and capsule form.


5. Massaging your abdomen to set the right placement of your uterus.


I do not know if doctors would even recommend this procedure but old folks swear that it helps make conception easy. Of course, it is not something too harsh but just gentle massaging that allows your uterus to be ‘in place’. Of course, an expert on this procedure is necessary.


6. Dancing the fertility dance.


In a religious society like ours, a lot of old folks would recommend you to join the ‘dance for fertility’ as a prayer ritual to ask for a child. This fertility rite lasts for 3 days where people dance to celebrate the feast of St. Paschal, St. Clare and Our Lady of Salambao, which are said to be patron saints of fertility, wealth and abundance. This fertility rite has been around since the 18th century, and for sure, a lot of couples may have been blessed with a child after joining this rites, as people often recommend it.


I for one haven’t tried a few of these fast tracks to pregnancy but i don’t find any harm in trying these ways to get pregnant fast. Of course, the more you believe that you can conceive fast, the more it can become a reality, so i would just have to keep the fire burning. 


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