One Month Old Gian

 

My little Gian is now a month old.

Time flies so fast, my ordeal in the delivery room faded like a bad dream. My recovery is good but I still have discomfort sleeping on my back so I have to lie on my side. I also find it difficult to get out of bed. Argh.

…. and I think I’m suffering from post partum depression. I don’t know if this is indeed one. There were instances when I just locked myself and baby in the room and I started to cry.

I cried to the thought that I can’t even carry my baby because I find it uncomfortable with my operation still hurting a bit.

At times, I cried to the thought of being helpless. Hubby is home only on the weekends and I’m left with the baby the rest of the week. I do the dressing of my wound myself. The household helper I brought with me to my in-laws was sent home a few weeks before I gave birth, so I have to hand wash the baby’s clothes every morning. Sometimes grandma would do it for me but I don’t want an 80-year old woman doing laundry. Even if its just a few pieces of baby clothes, so I sometimes hide the laundry basket.

 

I cried because I don’t know how I will be able to pull through with our finances. Me, being out of work for 1 month now and all our savings were spent.

 

But I comfort myself with the thought that these are all just about my hormones and of course, the sight of this beautiful baby always help soothe my worries away.